Out of this Darkness

by Vada Foster

Copyright July 1997

Disclaimer: Warning.... This story contains some pretty graphic sex between our favorite warrior and her adorable little bard. There's also a bit of blood and violence, but no more than you might see any week on the show. Feedback of any kind is more than welcome, but if you really just want to bash me, I would just as soon that be private. (Really, I would just as soon you find something better to do than bash me, but that's just me...)

My email address is HRHVada@AOL.COM

Oh, yes.. Xena and Gabrielle are the property of Universal MCA, and their names are used without permission, but what the hell, it's just good clean fun. Enough drivel. Read the story, already.

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The last rays of the sun clung to the horizon in glowing reds and golds. Xena stood on the crest of a hill overlooking the breathtaking view of the valley with the ocean beyond it.

"Hurry up", she called to Gabrielle, who was several paces behind and breathing hard on the steep incline. "This is the most beautiful sunset I've seen in a long time."

"I'm hurrying as fast as I can.", she gasped as she reached the top. "It's no fair; you have those long legs, and I have these damned little stubs." She drew abreast of Xena, and stopped short as her eyes took in the panorama in front of her. Her mouth dropped open as she marveled at the colors. "Ohhh", she sighed.

"I happen to love those little stubs of yours", Xena smiled, raising one eyebrow in a suggestive look that said she also loved what rode on top of those stubs. She draped one arm around Gabrielle's shoulder, and pulled her close. "And the rest of the package, as well.", she added.

"Well, I'd just as soon have your legs as mine, especially when we're going mountain climbing like this," she grumbled, hiding her smile from the warrior.

"Gabrielle, it's a tiny hill. Not even a hill.", she amended. "A bump in the road."

"So it's a bump in the road; I'm still tired. Can we just sit down and rest for a while and watch the rest of the sunset before we go on?"

"Sure. Actually, we might as well look for a place to camp for the night. We'll never make Antea's place by night fall, and there won't be much of a moon tonight."

"Good. I'm not going another step." True to her word, she sat down in the road watching as the sun disappeared into the ocean. Xena dropped down beside her and wrapped her arm around her waist. With a sigh, Gabrielle dropped her head on Xena's shoulder. "Thanks. I needed this."

"Me, too. I forget how nice it is to stop and smell the flowers. Or watch a sunset," she kissed Gabrielle's hair, and drew in the intoxicating fragrance of her. How easy it would be to just forget about everything and pull off Gabrielle's clothes in the middle of the road and make love to her until she couldn't take any more. With a sigh, she rose to her feet and stood looking down at the bard. "But I would like to get our gear set up before

we lose the light completely. Do you want to stay here?"

"No. I'll come with you." Xena held out her hand and pulled Gabrielle to her feet. Surveying the area, the bard noticed several large stones forming a semi-circle, with the remnants of previous campfires at it's center. Other people had sought shelter from the wind from off the water inside the stone circle. "That looks like a good spot", she said, taking Xena by the hand. With a nod, Xena gathered up Argo's reins and the three of them made their way to their campsite.

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On the hill overlooking the stone circle in a copse of olive trees, a man watched the pair as they laid out their camp. He and his two accomplices picked up their trail that morning as they left Athens, and had followed from a safe distance ever since. The closeness of the two women was not lost on him. He was betting his life that Xena would do anything to keep the blonde from harm. His mouth turned up in a sneer as he watched the warrior pull the shorter woman to her and kiss her. "Gotcha", he whispered.

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Xena broke away from Gabrielle, and her eyes roamed around the surrounding country side. She had the uncomfortable feeling that she was being watched, and it sent chills up her spine.

"Something wrong?", Gabrielle asked softly.

"Maybe nothing. I just felt like someone was watching us." Gabrielle looked around, but could not see far in the gathering dusk.

"I don't see anything. Maybe it's your.....", she broke off, as a nanny goat with her kid emerged from a clump of high grass. "Oh, look, it's only a goat. And she's nursing a kid. We can have fresh goats milk for dinner!" She dug in the saddlebags for some of the oats they gave to Argo for treats, and held out a handful for the goat. The nanny was apparently comfortable with people, as she stood calmly and let Gabrielle pet her.

Xena was not entirely convinced that the goat was responsible for the chill she felt, but by then it was too dark to see much outside of the circle of their fire. She shrugged off the feeling, and went to fetch a bowl to catch the goats milk.

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Gabrielle tossed the last of their wood on the fire. They had finished a meal of cheese, fruit and goats milk, and both of them were lazily dreaming by the fire. "There's no more wood. Do you think we should gather some more tonight?"

Xena stretched and yawned. "No. I don't think we'll need it for warmth tonight. Looks like it's going to be plenty warm enough. I'll collect some in the morning for our breakfast."

Gabrielle dropped down onto the bedroll beside Xena. "I'm convinced", she murmured, stifling a yawn of her own. It had been a long day, and both women had pushed themselves harder than usual, eager to reach Antea's home before night fall. Xena had under estimated the distance between Athens and Sounion, and they would still have at least three hour's walk ahead of them the following day. Gabrielle pressed her body up next to Xena's, and brought her knee up to drape over Xena's thigh. At the touch, a shiver went up Xena's body, ending at the triangle at the top of her long shapely legs. She was instantly wide awake, all thoughts of sleep banished by the touch of her precious bard. Deftly, she maneuvered herself out from under Gabrielle, whose eyes had already drifted closed. "Mmphh", Gabrielle murmured, curling into a ball.

"Oh, no you don't", Xena growled. She grasped the bottom of the shift Gabrielle had donned for sleeping, and worked it up the body of the limp bard. As her hand passed over Gabrielle's breast, the skin contracted and the nipple stood sharply at attention. Gabrielle's eyes flew open, and her thoughts of sleep went the way of Xena's.

"I thought you were tired", she whispered softly to the warrior.

"Not THAT tired. Never that tired, not with you." She pulled her own shift over her head and tossed it to one side. The flames from the fire gave her skin a golden caste. She looked to the bard like a golden idol. Gabrielle drank in every curve with her eyes, amazed once again that this goddess of a woman chose to be with her. Xena lowered herself on top of Gabrielle, insinuating her knee in between her legs. Gabrielle moaned and relaxed her legs, giving Xena full access to her body. When her thigh touched the soft wetness of Gabrielle, Xena shuddered and a groan escaped her lips.

"Oh, my little bard. Just the contact between our bodies does things to me that I wouldn't have imagined I could feel outside of the Elysian Fields." She brought her mouth to Gabrielle's, lightly running her tongue over Gabrielle's lips until they parted. She kissed her softly at first, but the bard pushed her tongue into Xena's mouth, igniting a fire that could not be quenched no matter how deeply they kissed. Trembling, Xena finally broke the kiss and began to kiss and nibble at Gabrielle's neck. She ran her tongue over her collarbone and into the cup at the base of her neck. Gabrielle wrapped her arms around Xena's waist and let her hands roam over the soft mounds of her ass. She pulled Xena toward her until she could feel Xena's mound against her own. Stretching as far as she could, she tried to reach around Xena's buttocks to touch the warm wetness with her fingers. Xena paused in her kissing long enough to grasp Gabrielle's wrist, which she gently placed beside her.

"Uh-uh", she growled. "None of that yet. Not until I'm through with you. You know what your touch does to my concentration."

Raising her hand back up to Xena's buttocks, Gabrielle murmured " But I only want to feel you. I promise not to break your concentration." Her fingers crawled closer to Xena's center, and the warrior found herself involuntarily turning toward her hand.

"Stop that!", she groaned. She caught Gabrielle's wrist again, and bringing it above the bard's head, she pinned her hand down. "Give me the other hand too", she ordered. Obediently, Gabrielle raised her other hand above her head, and Xena wrapped her long fingers around both wrists and held them there. Seeing Gabrielle stretched out like that sent a chill through the warrior. She looked so vulnerable, and at the same time strong; the muscles in her abdomen were taut. Xena wanted to run her tongue over the bard's stomach, but it would mean letting go of her hands. She picked up the shift she had removed from Gabrielle earlier, and with a deftness that surprised both of them, she bound Gabrielle's hands together. She tossed the strap of the shift over a stone, effectively pinning Gabrielle's hands and freeing her own.

Xena ran her tongue in lazy circles around each of Gabrielle's breasts in turn, rolling the nipples in her mouth and feeling them grow hard as pellets. She moved her mouth down to her stomach, and heard Gabrielle's sharp intake of breath as her chin touched the curly hair on her mound. She positioned her self between the bards legs, then she lifted her legs, placing one on each shoulder. She ran her hands over the soft insides of Gabrielle's thighs, and the muscles twitched at her touch.

"Ohhhh, please......", Gabrielle begged, raising her hips off the ground and encouraging Xena to touch her soft folds with her tongue.

"Patience, Gabrielle," Xena whispered against her thigh. She raised Gabrielle's hips even farther off the ground, until she could reach her buttocks with her mouth. She kissed and nibbled the soft mounds, and then ran her tongue along the divide between the cheeks. Gabrielle gasped again when she felt the tip of the warriors tongue push against the tightness of her small opening. Without realizing it, her muscles tightened against the intrusion. "Relax", Xena whispered against the bards smooth skin. "I wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

Gabrielle consciously relaxed. "I know...... It's just.....I......ohhh." Whatever she was going to say was lost when Xena resumed her exploration of her nether orifice.

"I want to know all of you", Xena purred. "I want you to feel me inside you, everywhere." Gabrielle moaned as her lovers words reached inside of her and plucked her nerves like the strings of a lute. Xena could feel the muscles dancing beneath her hands and mouth. She could feel herself grow wetter as her own body vibrated in tune with the bards. Running her finger through Gabrielle's soft curls, she lubricated it with the juices that were abundant there, and then brought her hand to the small opening. Once again, the tightening muscle resisted her. "Trust me," she growled low in her throat. "Give yourself to me completely."

"Yes, I do.. I want to, oh, gods, more than anything. What can I?........."

"Let your muscles go." She felt the bard go almost limp. "When I push my finger into you, think about how good it feels, and relax." Xena insinuated the tip of her finger into the small opening, and there was no resistance. "Yesss", she hissed, pushing more of her finger into the tight opening. She didn't want to risk hurting her inexperienced lover, so she went in only a short way and then withdrew to the tip of her finger and pushed it back in again.

While her finger continued to gently probe, she brought her thumb to the folds of her lovers lips, and slid it into the warm passage. She pushed her thumb inside as far as it would go, which caused her finger to withdraw until just the tip was still inside her. Then she reversed her motion, making sure that both openings were equally filled.

Gabrielle had never felt such a sensation. Her first reaction when the finger entered her was that it felt odd. Not necessarily unpleasant, but definitely foreign. When Xena began the rocking motion between thumb and finger, the feeling changed to one of complete oneness with her love. She gave herself to Xena with all of her heart, soul, and body, knowing that Xena treasured all of these things, and would guard them with her very life.

Without slowing down the movements of her hand, Xena leaned down and parted the lips guarding Gabrielle's clit with her tongue. Gabrielle thought she would die from sheer pleasure from all the attention she was getting. The first touch of that marvelous tongue started the avalanche in motion that would carry her over the edge of ecstasy. The feeling built until she thought she would explode. Her head whipped from side to side, and she pulled her hands free from the loose binding of the shift, clutching at Xena's shoulders. Xena knew she was almost there, and picked up the tempo with her tongue.

Gabrielle stiffened and pushed into her warriors eager face. "Xenaaaaa!", she called out as the explosive orgasm surged through her body. Xena clung to her, pulling every ounce of energy out of Gabrielle until the bard put her hand under her chin and lifted her head. "Enough.. Stop. . I can't... You're killing me.."

"Killing you nicely, I hope?", she queried. Gabrielle merely nodded; her voice seemed to have deserted her. Xena lowered the bard softly to the ground. Her finger and thumb were still nestled inside of her lover, and she kept them there as she climbed up her body. She lowered herself on top of the bard, trapping her hand between them. Tentatively she wiggled her thumb, and Gabrielle jerked.

Finding her voice again, the bard begged, "No.. Please. There'll be nothing left of me if you keep that up."

"That wouldn't do", Xena murmured. "Because I want to do that to you for the rest of your very long life." She withdrew her fingers from Gabrielle, which caused her to gasp involuntarily, the muscles clinging to the digits. Eagerly, Xena asked "Do you want.........?."

"No! Just a reflex... Gods, is there no satisfying you, woman?"

Xena chuckled, and snuggled into Gabrielle's neck. "I can never get enough of you, my little queen."

"Me neither", Gabrielle whispered. Her eyes were growing heavy, and she stifled a yawn.

Despite the fact that all the muscles in her body had been transformed into a gelatinous substance, Gabrielle tried valiantly to raise up and turn Xena onto her back so she could try out some of her own tricks on the warrior. She might as well try pushing a boulder up a mountain. "Xena," she mumbled. "Turn over."

"What?" She felt Gabrielle trying to dislodge her from her warm soft spot nuzzling her neck. "Not tonight. You're practically asleep already.. Tomorrow."

Gabrielle settled back down, loving the feel of Xena's soft breath across her breasts as she cuddled with her. "Mmmm. You promise?", she managed to whisper.

"I promise. Now go to sleep."

It was a promise Xena would not keep.

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In the copse of trees, the man perched between the branches watched by the light of their fire as the two women made love. He was repulsed by it, but at the same time excited. He withdrew his member from his pants, and stroked it as he watched. Long before the little blonde cried out her completion, he erupted on the bough of the tree, biting down on his upper arm to stop himself from screaming. He stayed in his perch long after the women appeared to be asleep, knowing that the warrior was famous for her hearing. When it seemed clear that they were in a deep sleep, he climbed down from the tree with the grace of a cat, and silently made his way back down the hill to where his two accomplices waited for him.

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As usual, Xena was able to disentangle herself from the bard without disturbing her sleep. She covered her up and tucked the blanket around her closely, as there was a slight chill in the morning air. She pulled on her leathers and boots, and collecting the water skins from the saddle bags, she made her way toward the stream she could hear just over the crest of the hill. She smiled to herself, remembering the way Gabrielle had reacted to their lovemaking the previous night. Xena loved to experiment with different things; so far she had never done anything that the bard did not like, and she hoped that wouldn't change. She wanted more than anything to keep her happy, and she knew that variety was the spice that Gabrielle favored. She hummed a tune as she filled the skins, then tying them around her neck, she collected wood for the fire and made her way back up the hill.

"You awake yet, sleepyhead?" She called as she approached the campsite. Rounding the outcropping of rocks, she stopped in her tracks when she saw three men with Gabrielle. Two of them gripped her arms. The man on the right held a knife to her throat, and the one on the left had one hand over her mouth. The third man sat on a rock, cleaning his fingernails with a very long knife. Gabrielle was wearing her sleeping shift wrong side out and backwards; clearly these animals had grabbed her as she slept, but at least they allowed her to cover her nakedness.

At the sight of her lover, Gabrielle began to struggle, biting down on the hand that covered her mouth. He yanked his hand away, but brought it back in a vicious slap across her face. Stunned, she stopped struggling.

"Don't try to fight them, Gabrielle. They'll only hurt you," Xena cautioned, her voice a menacing growl.

"Sound advice", offered the man on the rock. "We're not here to hurt your little wife, Xena. It's you we came for." He stood and put the knife he had been using on his fingernails in a sheath at his belt. He was slightly taller than Xena, with a shock of curly red hair spilling down to his shoulders. His face would have been quite handsome but for a plum colored stain that covered part of his forehead, eyebrow and cheek. Xena imprinted that face in her memory in a second; she would not forget it. "Oh, but I'm being rude", the man went on. "You must wonder who we are and why we're here."

"I know who you are. You're vermin. Some cowardly warlord has sent you to do his dirty work for him, right? Who is it? Krykus? Draco? Thanos?"

"Very good. Thanos said you were smart as a whip. And you're partially right. These two"; and he waved his hand to indicate the two men holding Gabrielle, "may well be vermin. They're Thanos' men, sent along to verify the job is done. I am Zarkadis, the assassin. Perhaps you've heard of me?"

"Yes. Am I supposed to be impressed?", she sneered.

The assassin laughed. "You are the feisty one, aren't you?." His tone turned menacing. "But that won't do you a bit of good, warrior princess. You'll still be dead when I'm through with you."

Without appearing obvious, Xena scanned the area around her looking for a potential weapon. She had not expected trouble, and left her sword and chakram at the camp when she went for water and firewood. Now her weapons were in a pile on the ground behind Zarkadis. If only she had thought to at least put her breast dagger down her cleavage before she left. Her only weapon was her skill in hand to hand combat, and her cunning. In a battle of wits, there was no doubt the two goons holding Gabrielle were completely unarmed, but the assassin was obviously good at his job.

"Don't bother. I made sure there was nothing within your reach that could remotely be used as a weapon. I didn't count on that bundle of wood you have in your hands, though. Why don't you toss it as far as you can to your right. And if you're thinking about trying to use a piece of that as a club, I would advise against it." Drawing his knife again, he touched the point of it to Gabrielle's abdomen. Xena turned and threw the wood several feet down the hill.

With a sigh, she turned back to face him. He put the knife back in it's sheath and smiled at her. "I followed you all day yesterday. I watched you closely, looking for your weakness." He turned to Gabrielle, and grinned. "And here she is." Gabrielle stood up straight, and stared right back at him. "Another feisty one. What an interesting breed of women they grow in this part of Greece"

"Leave her alone," Xena hissed, taking a step toward Zarkadis.

"That's far enough, princess, " Zarkadis growled. "I've heard about your moves, and I don't want to be within kicking distance of those lovely legs of yours." She stopped and glared at the assassin. "They say you have more lives than a cat, mighty warrior. But your lives just ran out."

"Not yet they haven't. What's Thanos paying you? I'll pay you double to let us go."

He laughed, and shook his head.

"Oh, no. He made it clear when I agreed to this job that failure would mean my death. There aren't enough dinars to make me risk his wrath. No, I have a job to do, and I intend to do it. The only question is whether I kill both of you, " he turned and nodded to the thug with the knife at Gabrielle's throat, who pressed the blade hard enough to indent the skin. He returned his gaze to Xena, whose eyes blazed with fury. "Or just you."

"If you harm her, by the gods, I'll see that you're in Tartarus before the day is over," Xena warned. "Swear on the head of Zeus that you'll set her free unharmed if I don't do anything to defend myself."

"I have no desire to hurt your little friend. You have my promise I'll let her go after....my job is done."

Gabrielle's eyes grew wider as she listened to the dialog between her warrior and the hired killer. She wished that Xena could give her some kind of signal to let her know that she had a plan to get them both out of this She couldn't believe that Xena would simply allow them to kill her without putting up a fight. "Gabrielle." Xena's voice penetrated through the crushing guilt she felt at having once again put both of their lives at risk. Tears began to leak from her eyes, even as she searched Xena's face for a sign to show that things would be all right. All she saw was grim determination. "Gabrielle", she said again more loudly. The bard blinked her eyes several times to show she heard; she was afraid to try to speak for fear the knife would bite into her flesh. "I've heard that Zarkadis is a man of his word. He'll let you go unharmed." She turned her face to the assassin. "You have to promise to leave her my things and my horse. She'll need her to take my body home."

"Except for your weapons, which I'll take to Thanos as a trophy, she can have the rest of your possessions. You have my word."

"No!" Gabrielle screamed, not even noticing when the knife drew blood. The assassin gestured to the man with the knife, and he pulled it away from her skin, but held it just in front of her. "No! You can't do this, Xena!" Tears now poured down her face, and she struggled against her captors, who held her tight enough to bruise her arms. "I won't let you die for me! I'd rather die than lose you again!"

"Stop fighting them, Gabrielle! Don't you understand? All you can succeed in doing is getting yourself killed. And they'll kill me anyway, even if I manage to take one or two of them with me. I would have died for nothing, don't you see?" Her blue eyes glimmered through a sheen of tears as she looked into the face of her precious bard.

"Xena, please, no! I love you, Xena... I don't want to live without you!! Fight them! You can win, I know you can, please...." Her words jumbled together as her voice rose higher in hysteria.

"I love you, Gabrielle. More than my life." She held her arms out to her sides, palms out in supplication. "Do it," she whispered.

Zarkadis knife was in his hand in the blink of an eye, and he crossed the small clearing to where she stood. "You deserve better than this", he whispered huskily. "I'm sorry." Quickly he pushed the blade into her abdomen, and then withdrew it. Her eyes opened wide in surprise, as if she couldn't believe it had actually happened. The very air seemed to thicken and slow her descent as her knees began to buckle. Zarkadis caught her by the shoulders and lowered her to the ground. "Gab.....", she whispered faintly. Zarkadis straightened up and turned toward the trio on the other side of the clearing.

"Let her go", he ordered. The moment she was released, Gabrielle flew to where Xena lay, and dropped down beside her. Stretching her legs in front of her, she put Xena's head in her lap, and caressed the face she had gazed upon adoringly for the past two years. The color drained from Xena's face along with her life blood that spilled on the ground.

"Gods, please don't let her die....Xena, look at me.. Please, Xena, stay with me. You promised.....You're my life...I ..." Her throat choked completely, and she couldn't speak. Tears coursed down her cheeks and splashed on Xena's face. She pressed her lips to Xena's forehead, then to her cheeks and finally her mouth. Xena's eyelids fluttered open briefly, and the corner of her mouth turned up as if she wanted to smile.

"Sorry....", Xena whispered softly. "...couldn't keep.....my promises." Her face grew slack and her body went limp.

Zarkadis watched long enough to be sure the warrior would not survive, then nodded to the men to start back towards Thanos' camp. He picked up Xena's chakram and tied it with a strip of leather to the top of his breeches. He strapped the scabbard to his back, and without a backward glance, followed the two men back the way they had come.

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Unknown to the participants, another set of eyes watched the drama unfold on the hill. On his way to Athens to create his own special brand of mischief, Strife over heard an impassioned plea to the gods to spare the life of someone. Thinking it might be good for a laugh, he stopped to see what was happening, and saw that the life in question belonged to the warrior who was the object of his uncle Ares love/hate obsession. His mouth quirked in a wicked grin, as he thought about being the one to give his uncle the news of the passing of the warrior princess. The grin faded as he realized that Ares was as likely to be angry as elated with the news, and that being the bearer of those tidings might not bode well for him.

"Ah! I know", he said aloud, clapping his hands and skipping around in a circle. "I'll spare her life, but take her memory. No, ", he said, pacing back and forth and stroking his chin. "That's no good. She needs to remember being a warlord if she's going to be any good to uncle. I've got it!" His face fairly glowed and his eyes glittered with something close to madness. "She'll forget everything until she hears her name, and when she does, she will only remember her evil self, and not the things she's done since, or the people she met since she turned into a goody-goody." Watching Gabrielle whisper words of love and encouragement into Xena's ear, he realized she might have the power to sway the warrior, even without her memory. Tapping his fingers against his lips, he paced again, thinking of what he might do to prevent that from happening. "I've got it!", he crowed. "I'll sow a few seeds of hate and mistrust for the brat in there with her warlord memories. As time goes on, it will get harder and harder for her to hear what the bard says without flying into a rage. If she's standing in a downpour, she'll argue it's sunny if Gabrielle comments on the rain." He watched as the bard kissed the warriors lips "That was your good-bye kiss, Amazon Queen. Your warrior won't know you when she wakes up." He laughed until his sides hurt, and then sobered up when he realized that if he was going to spare her life, he really should do it before she expired completely. He gestured his hand toward the two women, and the wound which should have been fatal no longer damaged any vital organs. Still, the warrior needed to be taken to a healer to stitch up the wound and replenish the blood she lost. If she simply recovered, both Xena and Gabrielle would know that the gods were involved, and Strife preferred to remain anonymous until he could report to his uncle that the warrior princess was once again in his service. He decided to transform himself into a kindly old farmer with a horse and cart piled with hay. He would happen by the place where the warrior lay, and offer to take her to a healer.

"Hang on, Xena", he whispered. "I'm coming to save you!" His laughter filled the air, sounding to anyone who happened to hear it like the pealing of thunder.

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Gabrielle was almost numb with shock and disbelief. Once again she held her beautiful warrior in her arms as her life ebbed away. If Zarkadis had not taken her weapons, the bard might have killed herself, to spend eternity with Xena in the Elysian Fields. But Gabrielle's optimistic side would not let go. Xena's chest still rose and fell as she drew shallow breaths. The bard put her head to Xena's breast, listening for the sound of her heart, which still beat weakly. "Have to stop the bleeding", she mumbled aloud. In her mind, she knew she was no healer and that there was nothing she could do for the woman she loved. But her heart kept repeating - you have to try - and she knew she would continue to do what she could as long as the warrior's heart continued to beat. Gently lying Xena's head on the ground, she jumped to her feet and ran to the saddlebags and pulled out blankets and a sleeping shift. Returning to Xena, she pressed the folded garment against her wound, and tearing a strip from the blanket, she carefully worked it under Xena's body to bind the compress tightly against her. She lifted her head and put a folded blanket under her, and carefully laid her head down again. The other blanket she spread over her, tucking it snugly around her.

"What else? What should I do, Xena? You're the one who always knows what to do." She dropped to her knees beside the fallen warrior. "Help me, Xena....." Softly she kissed the lips that had brought her so much pleasure in the past two years, with smiles and words and kisses. She could feel Xena's breath fluttering lightly against her cheek. Was it her imagination, or did it seem stronger than it had a short while ago? Gabrielle's heart leaped at the thought that Xena could still be saved. "I'll take you to Antea; she has healing skills. I know she can save you." She knew how to make a litter so that Argo could pull Xena to Antea's. She jumped to her feet and started looking around for poles long enough to use for the braces. The wood Xena had collected was far too short to be of use, so she started scanning the ground under the trees that lined the road. She heard a jingling sound coming from around the last bend in the road, and turned to see what was coming. In a few moments, a horse drawn wagon fully loaded with hay pulled into sight. Heedless of the fact that she was barefoot and wearing only a sleeping shift, Gabrielle ran into the road, straight toward the oncoming wagon. She waved her arms frantically and called out to the driver to stop.

"Whoa", called the driver to his horse, giving a steady pull to the reins to slow it down. By the time Gabrielle drew along side the horse the wagon had come to a stop. "Slow down, little lady. You'll bust a gut."

"You have to help me", Gabrielle panted, "My friend......"

"What're you doing running around half naked? A mite of a girl like you......"

"Never mind that! Please, you have to help me. My friend is hurt. Badly hurt. Will you help me?"

"Why didn't you say so? Where is he?"

Gabrielle pointed to the rocky outcropping at the top of the hill. "She's behind those rocks. We have to hurry... She's lost a lot of blood."

"Come on up here", the driver said, holding his hand down to Gabrielle and pulling her up to sit beside him. "Don't worry, little lady. I'll make sure your friend is taken care of." He gave her a wink and a smile. In her excitement over having exactly what she needed delivered like a gift from the gods, Gabrielle failed to notice the gleeful spark in his eye. "Gee up," he called to the horse, slapping the reins against its flanks.

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Within minutes of arriving at the camp site, they had Xena loaded into the wagon. Gabrielle scooped up all of their possessions without bothering to organize them, and as a result, they would not fit in the saddlebags. Not wanting to take the time to fix it, she simply threw everything in a corner of the wagon. She whistled for Argo, and tied the mare to the back of the wagon. When everything was on board, she leaped up beside Xena and shouted "Let's go!" to the farmer. She took off her sleeping shift and pulled on her clothes and boots as they rode.

By mid-morning they reached the fork in the road that would take them into town. The farmer began to turn the horse toward town, but Gabrielle tapped him on the arm and shook her head. "We need to go that way", she said.

"But there's nothing down that way", the farmer protested. "Just farms and such. There'll be healers in town." He continued on his course.

Gabrielle grasped his wrist and tugged back on the reins. "No! Our friend lives that way. She's the healer I want. Please, stay on this road."

The farmer shrugged. "Suit yourself.", he looked back at the still form wrapped in blankets and hoped he hadn't miscalculated the length of time she could live without adequate care. It would be a shame to get this far only to have her die anyway. And in his present form, he would not be able to prevent it. "Hope this healer isn't too far down the road", he mumbled, leaning the reins on the horses neck to change their direction.

"Thanks", Gabrielle said with a smile. "It's not much farther now. I recognize these trees.." She kept her eyes on the side of the road, knowing that the path leading to Antea's cabin would be close. She spotted it, and pointed. "There. Turn in there." The farmer did as she asked, and after a few minutes, he could see a cottage in a clearing.

"How's she doin'?" he inquired.

"She's holding on," Gabrielle sighed, laying her fingers on the side of Xena's neck to feel the weak pulse. The farmer smiled.

"Good. Real good.", he said sincerely.

Gabrielle stood up in the wagon and shouted, "Antea! Hey, Antea!" The door to the cottage fairly flew open, and Antea emerged into the bright morning light with a huge smile on her face. The smile began to fade as she saw the blood that still clung to Gabrielle's hands and face. She broke into a run toward the cart.

"Gods, Gabrielle, what happened?," she said breathlessly. "Where's Xena....." She had reached the side of the cart, and saw the deathly pail form lying on the hay. Her eyes widened, and she gasped, "Oh........no.......", she swallowed a lump in her throat, and continued. "Is she......" She left her thought hanging in the air..

"No, but she will be if you don't shake a leg", the driver of the cart grumbled, jumping down to help the women remove the wounded warrior. The farmer took Xena's shoulders, and Gabrielle was about to take her feet, when Antea tapped her on the shoulder.

"Gabrielle, go get the door. I'm stronger than you are; I'll help carry her." Wordlessly, Gabrielle nodded and walked briskly in front of them to open the door. Antea preceded the farmer, and turned toward the bedroom. Gabrielle pulled back the curtain that separated the bedroom from the main part of the cottage and stood aside for them to enter. They deposited her on the bed as gently as if she were made of glass.

The farmer straightened up and gave Gabrielle a smile. "You take good care of her, now", he said.

"I will." She threw her arms around his neck, and hugged him tightly. "I don't know how to thank you", she said. "If you hadn't come along....." Her voice trailed off.

"No need to thank me", he said gruffly, trying to extricate himself from her arms. "Anyone would have done the same."

"Maybe. But they didn't. You did. And I'll always be grateful to you." The farmer had crossed the room, and was nearly out the door.

"You won't be grateful for long", he muttered under his breath, as he opened the door and stepped outside. Gabrielle was about to ask him to repeat what he said because it hadn't made any sense to her, when Antea called from the bedroom.

"Gabrielle, I need your help." Gabrielle spun around and trotted to her friends side.

Antea wrapped her arm around Gabrielle's shoulder, and gave her a squeeze. That was all the inducement she needed to start the tears rolling down her face again. She buried her face in Antea's neck and sobbed. Antea wrapped her arms around her, and rubbed her back in a soothing motion, crooning into her ear. "Shhhh, baby. It's going to be OK. But you have to be strong for her. Help me take her clothes off so I can get to the wound, OK?"

Gabrielle nodded, choking back the tears. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and took a deep breath. "S-sorry. It just all caught up to me.. Won't happen again. What do you need me to do?"

Together, the bard and Antea managed to remove Xena's leather without reopening the wound. Antea removed the blood from around the wound carefully, noting that it was a very clean cut; once in and back out with no tearing. If the knife had been angled slightly differently, Xena could not possibly have survived. As Antea stitched up the cut, Gabrielle told her all she knew about the assassin sent to rob Xena of her life. It struck her as odd that the man would have made such a mistake. Well, it was not for her to question their good fortune. With a lot of luck, and a great deal of rest, Xena should recover completely.

When they had done everything they could do for Xena for the moment, Gabrielle allowed herself to sink down to the floor beside the bed. She grasped Xena's hand and laid her head down by her shoulder.

"I'll leave you two alone for a while", Antea whispered. "But you need to eat something soon to keep up your strength. I'll go fix something and then come back for you."

"Thanks, really, but I'm not hungry. Just tired. I'll take a nap, if that's OK."

Antea nodded. "But just a short one. You really have to eat, hungry or not. I'll see you in a little while. " Gabrielle smiled, then closed her eyes. Within minutes she was asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, sleepy head. Wake up." Gabrielle smiled to hear Xena's familiar morning greeting. She stretched and rubbed her eyes, and when she opened them she was surprised to find herself looking into Antea's face instead of Xena's. Her smile faltered, but she bravely put it back on. "Ready to have a bite to eat?", Antea queried, leaning over Gabrielle to check her patient. Xena's heart beat was stronger than before, and her breathing seemed more deep and even.

"Maybe I could eat something now." Gabrielle's stomach growled noisily at the mention of eating. She realized she had had nothing to eat since early the previous night. "A horse might be enough to......" She jumped to her feet with a look of panic on her face. "Argo! She was tied to the back of that wagon! Oh, gods, our things were on that wagon!"

"Calm down", Antea soothed her with a pat on her shoulder. "Argo's in the stable, and your things are in the other room. Your farmer friend put the horse away. Even brushed her out for you. He left your gear out there, and I brought it in." Gabrielle visibly relaxed. She felt guilty for not taking care of Xena's horse as the warrior would have done, and once again was grateful to the kind farmer whose assistance made the difference of life and death to her beloved warrior. " No horse on the menu today. I'm afraid you'll have to make do with chicken", Antea teased. Gabrielle's stomach answered for her with a resounding growl.

"Chicken sounds wonderful.", she said with a laugh. "But I need to wash up first. I'm still covered with......Xena's blood." The smile melted from her face as she held her hands in front of her and saw the red that clung to her.

Antea wrapped her arm around Gabrielle's shoulders and hugged her tightly. "I heated some water for you. It's in a bucket by the stove. You clean up while I check our patient again." Gabrielle nodded, and started from the room. "And Gabrielle", the bard stopped and turned to her. "A thought is a deed. Think of her well and healthy, and she will be."

Gabrielle managed a small smile.

"Thanks, Antea. You're a god send." She pulled back the curtain and left the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Antea sat on a stool by the side of the bed. She brushed some strands of long dark hair out of Xena's face, and her fingers caressed the warriors cheek before she withdrew her hand with a sigh. "I don't know if you can hear me", she whispered to the pale woman who, despite her pallor, had the countenance of a goddess in Antea's eyes. "You of all people know that I talk a good game, but I don't have the natural skill for healing that you do. I'm counting on your will to live to save me from making a liar of myself to Gabrielle. Don't let me down, my beautiful princess." Leaning down, she pressed her lips softly against Xena's lips. "I'll always love you", she murmured in Xena's ear. Was it her imagination, or did Xena's eyelids struggle to open for a few seconds before returning to deathly stillness?

"Any change?" Antea jumped slightly at the sound of Gabrielle's voice.

"I'm not sure. She might have tried to open her eyes a moment ago, but it could just be wishful thinking. At least she seems to be resting comfortably."

"It's almost full dark, Antea. Why don't you get some rest, and I'll sit with her a while? You can take over again in the morning." Antea would have preferred to stay by Xena's bedside until she regained consciousness, but she knew it was important to the bard to be close to her lover, so she simply nodded and stood up. Gabrielle settled onto the stool and took Xena's hand in her own. "She's so pale. She looks almost like she's made of wax. And her hand is cold."

"It's from loss of blood. She'll look a lot better when she builds it back up again. Don't worry." Crossing to a chest at the foot of the bed, she took out another blanket and spread it over the still form. "This ought to warm her up."

Gabrielle tucked the blanket around Xena carefully. "Thanks again, Antea. Get some sleep, and I'll come and get you in the morning."

"Good night. Both of you." She pulled another blanket and some clothes from the chest, and quietly left the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gabrielle dreamed she was standing at the bottom of a pit. On all sides of her, animals the like of which she had never seen snarled and reached out their sharp claws to rake them over her skin. Xena stood on the rim of the pit with a rope, which she lowered to Gabrielle. The rope barely reached her, and Gabrielle had to jump to get hold of it. When she did, it threw Xena off balance, and she tumbled into the pit, landing with a bone crunching thud. The animals were all over her in an instant, and the last words she said to Gabrielle were "Climb out while they kill me."

"NO!!" She jerked upright on the stool, her heart pounding furiously and her forehead glazed with sweat. Her eyes darted frantically around the unfamiliar room. They landed on the sleeping warrior, and even as the dream began to fade, the horrible reality of the previous day came back to her. "Never again", she said through gritted teeth. "I'll leave you before I ever let you sacrifice yourself for me again, do you hear me?"

Daylight was beginning to filter through the window, and Gabrielle knew she should let Antea take over so she could get some proper rest. Even as that thought went through her mind, the curtain parted and Antea came in.

"I heard you cry out. Are you all right?," she asked, her trembling voice not masking her concern.

"I'm fine. It was a dream. A nightmare, really." Antea came and stood beside the bard, and rested her hand on her shoulder.

"My turn. See if you can rest. A bit later I'll start a fire and make us some breakfast."

Gabrielle put her hand over Antea's hand on her shoulder and squeezed it.. "You'll spoil us both with this kind of treatment," she said with a laugh. She rose from the stool and stretched her stiff muscles. She felt exhausted, even though she knew she had dozed off several times the night before. As she slept, some part of her was alert for any sound or movement from the bed, so she may as well not have slept at all. "Call me if there's any change. Any thing at all."

"Of course. Now scoot. I have a patient to tend to." Gabrielle slipped away while Antea was listening for the sound of the heart that beat in time with her own.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Antea was in the process of tying a clean bandage around Xena's ribs when her patient flinched. Quickly, Antea brought her eyes up to Xena's face to see a look of pain. She loosened the knot she was tying, and Xena's features relaxed somewhat. Antea took her hand and squeezed it, and felt a small squeeze in return. As she gazed at Xena's face, she noticed that the color was quite a bit better than it had been the previous night. If she didn't know better, she would have thought she was simply sleeping. Even as this thought went through her mind, Xena's eyes opened, and turning her head slightly to get a better look, she stared into Antea's face. Antea smiled from ear to ear at the sight of the beautiful warriors blue eyes, but the smile wavered when there was no answering smile from Xena. "Can I get you anything? Something to eat or drink?", she asked.

"No", Xena responded after a lengthy pause, then she seemed to think better of it. "Yes. A drink.....of water." She closed her eyes again, as if the effort of talking was almost too much for her. Antea jumped up from her stool, and strode across the room.

"OK, I'll be right back with water. And Gabrielle. She made me promise to fetch her the moment you woke up." With that she stepped into the other part of the cottage, where Gabrielle slept curled up in a ball. She touched her shoulder, and Gabrielle jumped. "Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you."

"You didn't.. Well,", she grinned, " I guess you did, but it's OK." She yawned and stretched.

"She's awake. At least she was a moment ago. She asked me for some water. Why don't you go say hello while I draw a bucket?" Gabrielle was on her feet before the words were out of Antea's mouth, and she fairly flew across the room. "That is, if you want to", Antea said with a little laugh.

Xena was looking around the room when Gabrielle came in, and her eyes took in the young woman without showing any emotion at all. Gabrielle was so relieved to see her awake, and with a rosy color in her cheeks that she failed to notice. Gabrielle dropped on to the stool and clasped Xena's hand in her own. "Thank the gods!", she intoned. "I was so worried. I was afraid we wouldn't get you here in time, and I.........", she broke off in mid sentence. "Listen to me. Always talking about me. How do you feel?" She reached down to brush some strands of long dark hair out of Xena's eyes and caress her cheek. There was still no response from the warrior.

Xena raked her tongue over her lips to moisten them. "Where is this place?", she asked at last.

"It's Antea's cottage", Gabrielle replied, with a look of confusion on her face. "You had to have seen her a few minutes ago. She said you asked for water."

"Yes, I saw her. But I don't know her. I don't seem to....remember anything."

Gabrielle could not believe what she was hearing. Her first thought was that Xena was joking with her. "Quit kidding around.", she said with a half hearted laugh.

"I'm not.....kidding." The look on her face was sincere, but Gabrielle had known her to tell outrageous stories with a completely straight face, and she wanted to believe this was one of those times.

"Oh, come on. You know me....."

"No. I don't. I don't even know myself." Gabrielle searched for the truth in Xena's eyes, and saw only confusion and uncertainty there. The same blue eyes that had looked on her with love and longing, and occasionally with anger and regret, now darted around the room as if she were an animal trapped in a cage. Gabrielle took a step closer to the bed, but before she reached the fallen warrior, Antea walked into the room with a large mug of water.

"Here you go", she said with a warm smile. Xena turned toward her, and the anguished look in her eyes melted the smile from Antea's face. Thinking that Xena was in pain, Antea hurried to the side of the bed, gently nudging Gabrielle to one side. "Are you in a lot of pain?", she asked quietly. "I can make you some tea to ease it, and help you rest."

"No... I mean, yes. There is a lot of pain." She grimaced as she shifted on the bed, causing the pain to flare up sharply. "What happened to me? I don't....." Antea opened her mouth to respond, when Gabrielle jumped in quickly.

"She doesn't remember who she is, Antea. She doesn't know me.. or you." Antea knelt by the side of the bed, and studied the frantic eyes of her patient. They appeared normal to her. In Antea's experience, memory loss was usually caused by an injury to the head, causing the pupils of the eyes to dilate. She had to admit her knowledge of what caused memory loss was very limited.

With what she hoped was a reassuring smile she said, "You'll probably start to remember things soon. You shouldn't worry." She elevated Xena's head and brought the cup of water to her lips. Xena took several gulps, and then pushed the cup away.

"Enough", she said softly. "Tell me... what happened."

"We were attacked by thieves on the way to visit Antea", Gabrielle said, giving Antea a look that clearly said "let me handle this". Antea nodded imperceptibly, and Gabrielle continued. "I ran to get Antea, and when I came back, I found that you had been stabbed. We managed to get you here with Argo's help..."

"Who's Argo?", Xena mumbled. Gabrielle could see that her energy was waning, and that within minutes she would be asleep again.

"She's your horse." Gabrielle brushed a few strands of hair off of Xena's face, and lightly caressed her cheek. Xena's eyes were barely open, and she struggled to stay awake. "Why don't you sleep now. We'll tell you everything you want to know after you get a bit stronger, OK?" She leaned down and kissed Xena softly on her forehead.

" 'kay," Xena breathed, and her face relaxed. Gabrielle touched Antea's arm, and indicated with a nod of her head that Antea should come with her into the other room. Wordlessly, the two women left the room.

In the kitchen, Antea stopped and turned to Gabrielle, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "What was that about?", she asked. "When she gets her memory back....."

Gabrielle put her finger to her lips and shushed Antea.

"Not so loud. I don't want her to hear."

Lowering her voice to a whisper, Antea continued. "Gabrielle, she won't like it that you lied to her. Why didn't you just tell her the truth?"

"Because she doesn't know who she is. And I don't want her to know." Antea's mouth dropped open as she listened. She started to say something, but Gabrielle shook her head no, and put her hand over Antea's mouth. "Listen to me before you say anything. When she said that she didn't remember who she was, it occurred to me that that assassin will be spreading the word that the Warrior Princess is dead. He even has her weapons to prove it. As long as the world thinks she's dead, it's safer to let Xena stay dead. This is a chance for her to start over again. She won't be a target any more for every warlord and thug who wants to make a name for himself. Don't you see, we can live in peace....."

"We?", Antea asked with a note of sarcasm in her voice. "Gabrielle, she doesn't even know you. Assuming she doesn't get her memory back, what makes you think she'll want to go settle down somewhere with you? She might even fall in love with someone else. A man, perhaps."

"She fell in love with me once", Gabrielle said stubbornly. "I'm betting my future that she will fall in love with me again."

Antea shook her head, even though she knew her arguments were falling on deaf ears. "She will probably get her memory back, Gabrielle. And when she does, you and I both know she will go after the man who tried to kill her. Even if you have managed to get her to settle down somewhere, all that will change when she remembers what really happened. I'm afraid she'll be angry with you for deceiving her like this."

"Let me worry about that, Antea. Please. I have to at least try to keep her safe. She was willing to give up her life for me. I owe it to her to see that she gets a chance to live out that life in peace."

"OK", Antea conceded. "I'll go along with you. But if we have a hope in Tartarus of succeeding, we'd better come up with a plausible story about who and what she is, so we can fill her in when she wakes up."

"You're right", Gabrielle acknowledged. "We can think it up while we make something for her to eat. She's going to be starving when she really wakes up." Keeping their voices low, the two women worked together preparing food, and creating a past to present to their sleeping friend like a new set of clothes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sun had long since dropped over the edge of the world when she awakened again. The room was lit by a kerosene lamp and a few candles. By the flickering light, one of the women who had saved her sat sewing on a garment. She tried to remember the name the other woman had called her, but it was no use. Nothing came to her. She cleared her throat and said "Excuse me....."

Instantly, the young blonde woman was beside her, a smile on her face. "Decided to join us, did you? Are you hungry? We fixed up something for you." She didn't add that they had cooked up a whole lot more than meat and potatoes to feed to the warrior.

"Yes." Xena smiled. It was the first smile Gabrielle had seen for two days, and it made the bard want to throw herself into her arms. "I think I could eat something."

"Great! Antea makes the best lamb stew in Greece. Wait'll you taste it." And with that, she ran from the room.

Antea heard the sound of their voices, and was already ladling stew into a bowl. She looked up as Gabrielle came into the kitchen. "How's our patient?"

"Hungry." She took a deep breath, and squared her shoulders. "This is it, Antea. Show time. Are you ready?"

Antea shrugged. "Ready. Gods help us." She placed the bowl of broth from the stew and a mug of port on a tray, and followed Gabrielle into the bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

".....near the Gulf of Corinth."

"Do I still have family in Aetolia?", Xena asked, then brought the bowl with the broth to her mouth. "I thought you said this was lamb stew? Where's the lamb?"

"No," Gabrielle said. "Your mother died when you were a child, and your father bled to death several years ago from an injury on the farm. Seeing him die before your eyes was what made you realize you had to be a healer." Xena nodded. She tried to get her mind around the things she was learning about her past, but none of it had any meaning for her at all. "And we figured the stew itself would be too rich for you, and just brought you the broth."

"Jacinthe, would you like some more port?" Antea asked.

Xena smiled. "No, thanks. I feel light headed already. I could use some more of this wonderful broth, though", she said, holding out her bowl to Antea. Antea stood up and took the bowl from her.

"Anyone who calls my broth wonderful can have all she wants", she quipped. "Be right back", she said with a wink at Xena. She raised one eyebrow at Gabrielle as if to say "keep the story on track". But she needn't have worried. The bard was in her element, spinning a story for Xena that was well thought out and rehearsed. She may have only been performing for an audience of one, but it was the most important role of her life, and she intended to play it for all it was worth.

"Gabrielle", Xena said, rolling the name around in her mouth as if she were tasting it for the first time. " What did I.... do I do? For a living, I mean."

"You're a healer", Gabrielle said without hesitation. "And a very fine one. I hope you'll recall your skills The world needs more people like you, Jacinthe." Gabrielle had given Xena a name she had loved since she was young. She always planned to use that name for her first born daughter. She no longer had illusions about becoming a mother; it was not part of her life plan. But she could still call someone she loved by that name. She and Antea had practiced in the kitchen, saying "Jacinthe" over and over until it had become more comfortable. It would not do to slip and call the beautiful warrior by the wrong name.

Xena sighed. "I hope I do, too. Nothing I hear is familiar to me. It's like listening to a foreign language. Even my name doesn't sound right." Gabrielle tensed. Was she going to be undone almost before she started? But then Xena smiled again, and Gabrielle let out the breath she had been holding. "But I'm sure it will sound right. In time. Guess I'm being impatient. How long has it been since we were attacked?"

"Two days. Well, almost two days. It was early yesterday morning. You really are recovering very well. Antea says you might even be able to get out of bed in another couple of days."

"I'm in no hurry. There's nothing I want to get out of bed for." Gabrielle tried to keep the disappointment off of her face when she heard those words. "For me", she wanted to shout. "You want to get out of bed for me.. to love me, to be with me." Instead, she grasped Xena's hand, gave it a squeeze, and simply smiled what she hoped was an encouraging smile.

"You'll feel differently when you're not in so much pain", Gabrielle soothed. "Why don't you rest a while, and I'll tell you the story of Pan, the nymph god of woods and fields. Seems one day, Pan, who had the hoofs and horns of a goat, and was very ugly, happened across a nymph........." Xena's eyes drifted shut, and Gabrielle fell silent. She sat for several minutes just staring at the beautiful face so calm and relaxed in sleep. She longed to lie down beside her and pillow her head on the generous breasts that had given her so much pleasure and comfort in the past. In telling the story that she and Antea had fabricated to give Jacinthe a sense of herself, Gabrielle hadn't included the fact that they were lovers. It would have been easy to create a past that had Jacinthe and Gabrielle in love with each other, but it struck Gabrielle that it would be wrong to manipulate Xena in that way. She prayed that Jacinthe would come to the same place on her own. If she didn't, Gabrielle was determined to woo her and win her all over again. Gabrielle kissed her own fingertips, and gently touched them to Xena's lips. With a sigh, she settled back in her chair to keep watch over her love through the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the morning of the forth day, Xena woke feeling well enough to try to get out of bed for a while. Gabrielle was sleeping in a chair with her head resting on her shoulder. Xena was sure that was uncomfortable, and wondered why Gabrielle chose to spend the nights sitting in a chair. Carefully she swung her legs to the side of the bed and lowered them to the floor. Using her elbow and then her arm, she gradually raised her upper body until she was able to sit up. Leaning forward, she reached out and touched Gabrielle on her knee. "Gabrielle" , she said softly. The bard was instantly awake, sitting up straight in her chair.

"What's the matter?", she asked quickly, before she realized that Xena was sitting up on the bed. "Oh, Xe......", she bit back the word she was about to utter and amended it. "Gee, you're....up. Why didn't you call me first? I would have helped you." Gabrielle stood to stretch out her muscles. Sleeping on the ground was more comfortable than sleeping in that chair, she thought. She vowed to sleep on the floor by the bed that night. Her neck was stiff and sore, and she rolled her head from side to side to try and get the kinks out.

"I knew you were going to be stiff when you woke up from the way you were sitting", Xena said. "Why don't you come sit here where I can reach you, and I'll see if I can rub some of the pain out for you." She parted her legs to give Gabrielle a place to sit on the floor in front of her.

"Oh, no, that's OK", Gabrielle said quickly. She didn't know if she could trust herself just yet to sit between Xena's legs and keep her hands to herself. "It'll be fine. I can just... Ow!" She had moved her head a bit too far to one side, and a pain shot up her neck.

"Don't argue with me", Xena said in a mock stern voice. "Get over here." Meekly, Gabrielle nodded, and with a resigned sigh, she lowered herself to the floor in front of Xena. Xena's knees on either side of her, and her hands touching her neck made Gabrielle want to melt into a puddle on the floor. She forgot about the pain in her neck as the skillful hands kneaded and rubbed the knotted muscles. Being close to Xena was all she wanted - all she needed - to feel complete. If Jacinthe did not come to feel the same love for her as Xena had, she could be content just to be near her, sharing her life as they had before they became lovers. "Does that feel better?" Xena's soft voice interrupted her reverie.

"Oh, my.. Yes... Much. I think you must have remembered your healing skills."

"Hm. You're right," Xena nodded. "My fingers seemed to know just what to do, even though I didn't consciously think of it." Gabrielle had to bite her lip to keep from elaborating on some of the other skills she hoped those fingers would still know how to do. A smile lit up Xena's face. "Maybe my memory will start to come back, too," she enthused.

"Yeah", Gabrielle responded with less enthusiasm. "We can only hope." She forced herself to get up from the cozy nest created by Xena's legs, and standing before the warrior she looked into eyes that had begun to glow again with the promise that things would one day be all right. "Shall we go for a little walk? You up to it?"

Xena nodded. "I'll scream if I don't get up and stretch my legs pretty soon. I don't feel...right lying in a bed."

"That's probably because you spend most nights sleeping under the stars. You said it felt more natural to you than being cooped up inside four walls." Xena started to get up, and a grimace came across her face. Gabrielle hurried to her side. "Let me help you up", she said, draping Xena's arm over her shoulder, and wrapping her arm around Xena's back. Together they stood up, and slowly made their way across the room. Xena did not remove her arm from Gabrielle's shoulder, which was just fine with Gabrielle.

The kitchen was still dark when they got there, and the stove was cold. Antea must be out taking care of the animals, Gabrielle mused. Unlike her not to have started a fire first. Gabrielle guided Xena to a chair in the kitchen, and carefully set her down. "I'll start the fire and see about fixing you something to eat", she said. "Don't try to get up on your own, OK?"

"Yes, Mother," Xena said with a grin. Planting her elbows on the table, she watched as Gabrielle laid the fire. She tried to conjure an image of herself and this perky blonde imp traveling together, and the picture wouldn't come together. Gabrielle had told her that they had been traveling together for several years; a wandering bard and a healer with the tools of her trade in the saddlebag that was stolen by the thieves who accosted them. She wished she could remember any of that. In her dreams she would sometimes see flashes of what might have been memories, but the harder she tried to hold the images, the faster they fled from her mind, leaving her frustrated and confused. Sometimes she saw Gabrielle in those dreams, and other times Antea. Her cheeks flushed as she remembered a particularly vivid picture of Gabrielle lying naked in a wooded glen. She saw hands - her own hands - caressing the soft flesh. She shook her head to dispel the image. It made no sense to her so she rejected it as a true dream, and not a memory. If only she could tell the difference.

"Jacinthe". Gabrielle's voice pulled her from her reverie. She looked up with an inquiring quirk to her eyebrow. "Would you rather have eggs or porridge this morning?"

"Both", she answered with enthusiasm. "I think my appetite is starting to pick up."

"You got it," Gabrielle replied. "I'll go gather some eggs." She picked up a basket and headed for the door, turning around and giving Xena her best stern look. "Remember, you stay put unless someone is here to help you, all right?"

"Nag, nag,", Xena said playfully. "I'm not going any where. Just you remember that I'm starving in here and hurry back." She watched through the window as Gabrielle made her way to the chicken coop. Antea emerged from her workshop by the stable and waved at Gabrielle as she passed. They exchanged a few words, then Antea nodded and continued on her way to the cottage. Her arms were full of clothing and boots. Some of the clothing was made of leather that was the same light brown color as the britches Antea wore. Antea bounded up the steps to the cottage and through the door with a spring to her step.

She saw Xena sitting at the table and came over and kissed the top of her head.

"Gabrielle told me you were up," she said brightly. " I figured you would probably be on your feet by this morning, so I've been working on something for you to wear." They had told her that her spare clothing was in the stolen saddlebag, and that the clothes she was wearing when she was attacked were no longer wearable. She had been wearing one of Antea's sleeping shifts the past several days, and it barely covered the mounds of her buttocks.

"Antea, you're so kind to me. Both of you. How will I ever be able to thank you?", she said sincerely.

Antea laughed. "Don't thank me yet.. You haven't seen the clothes!" She pulled the leather garment from the stack in her arms, and dropped the rest on the table. Xena's eyes opened wide as she saw that what Antea held was a pair of britches very similar to the ones she was wearing, only longer. "I only had a few scraps of leather around, so the best I could do was lengthen the legs on one of my pairs of britches. I know it isn't what you're used to wearing, but I figured it will do until we can get into town and pick up something more suitable." Xena took the britches from her. The leather felt soft to the touch.

"They're........lovely", Xena stammered.

Antea laughed until tears came to her eyes. "No they're not. But at least they'll keep the wind from howling up your backside for the time being. And I think this tunic should fit you with no alterations", she continued, picking up a blue cloth tunic from the table. She held it up to Xena's face, and nodded. "Yep, goes nicely with your eyes. I thought it would. And these boots... well, they're a monstrosity, but I didn't have the right materials, so I threw them together with what I had." The boots were made of several different shades and textures of leather in a patchwork design. "If you tell anybody I made those boots, I'll swear you're a liar."

Xena laughed. "I like the way they look", she quipped. "Patchwork. Just like the pieces of my life...."

"Still. It's our secret. You, me and Gabrielle. Deal?"

"Deal. Maybe you could help me bathe after breakfast, and I could put on my new clothes?"

"Sure. I need to change your bandage anyway." The door opened, and Gabrielle entered carrying a basket brimming with eggs.

"Those are the busiest hens in Greece", she grumbled. "They were laying eggs faster than I could pick them up!"

Antea took the basket from Gabrielle. "Great!", she enthused. "The perfect number of eggs to make the perfect omelet. Will you fetch a bucket of water to heat for the porridge?"

Gabrielle groaned. "Fetch this, fetch that.. I feel like a slave girl", she grumbled. But she turned and marched toward the door. Xena sat and watched the two women who were responsible for her being alive, and even though she could not remember them from her past, she knew without a doubt that she loved them both with all her heart.

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Xena woke long before the sun. She could hear Gabrielle's soft breathing from the pallet on the floor by the side of the bed. Even after Xena was well enough that she no longer needed someone to sit with her through the night, Gabrielle insisted that she remain close by. Xena simply shrugged and accepted it. It actually did make her feel safe and protected to know the younger woman was close by.

This morning she felt strong enough to go out on her own without her two mother hens to cluck along after her. She eased herself off the end of the bed and collected her clothes from the top of the chest in the corner. Without a sound, she crept into the other room and pulled her britches on. It still felt odd to have that leather against her legs. She knew without a doubt that she never dressed like this in her life previously, but for now she could live with it. She pulled on her boots and slipped the tunic over her head. Opening the door noiselessly, she strode out into the early morning.

At first she walked slowly, as there was still very little light, but as the sun began to make its appearance, she picked up her pace until she was running. It felt good to use her muscles and to feel her heart beat accelerate. She felt more alive than she had since waking up a week earlier. The morning breeze cooled her cheeks as she ran, and her hair fanned out behind her. She slowed her pace when she realized she was quite far from the cottage; farther than she had gone on her many walks. She wondered if she should turn around and go back the way she had come, to avoid getting lost in the woods that surrounded Antea's property. Winded, she sat on a log beside a pond the stock must have used for a watering hole.

As she sat there catching her breath, she was observed from a distance by Strife, who was beginning to wonder if the warrior princess would ever hear her name uttered, which would set her back on the road towards Ares. He had looked in at the cottage from time to time during the past week. Enough to know that neither of the women the mighty Xena had aligned herself with would consciously say her name within her hearing. He must either remove Xena from them, or let them think that she was not within ear shot and hope that one of them would let it slip. Even now, the women were both awake, and were in the kitchen talking about their plans to keep Xena from realizing her true identity. If he could get Xena home in a hurry, she might just over hear that conversation. With an evil grin, he gestured at the log Xena was sitting on.

Without warning, the log under Xena's hand crumbled. The wood was old and rotten and apparently the pressure of her hand was enough to shatter the fragile outer layer of wood. Xena heard a sound. A humming sound that got louder by the second. Looking down, she saw what almost looked like brown parchment within the hollow log, and the sound was coming from there. Her eyes widened as she recognized the reddish brown insects with streaks of yellow that began to boil out of the ruined nest. Instantly, she was on her feet, and in seconds, she had reached the edge of the pond. Grabbing a reed from the edge of the water, she threw herself into the deepest part. Rolling onto her back, she put the end of the reed in her mouth so she could breath, and prayed that no part of her body was exposed to the air. Unsure how long it would take for all of the insects to disperse, she stayed there for several minutes before raising her head to see if they were gone. There did not appear to be any sign of them. She climbed out of the pond carefully on the other side, in case any of the hornets were still in the nest. She was completely covered with the slimy gray clay like mud that lined the bottom of the pond. Without question, she needed to head back to the cottage and wash this mess off. Having rested long enough to get her wind back, she broke into a run again and headed for home.

She glanced into the stable when she got back to see if Antea was up and about. Apparently she was, as there was no sign of her. Xena was passing near the kitchen window when she heard Antea's voice.

".......hard enough to carry it off here when there are just the three of us. I don't know how many times I have almost said her real name and had to bite my tongue."

Xena had not intended to eavesdrop, but when she heard those words, she stopped and leaned against the wall to listen to this conversation that so obviously concerned her.

"Don't you think I know that?", Gabrielle responded wearily. "I've done that, too. But it's getting easier every day. And once I get her away from all the places where she's known, and the people who know her...."

"That's my point. Even if you can find such a place..... wait, hear me out." Gabrielle must have started to say something, and Antea cut her off. Xena could picture the two of them in the kitchen - apparently deciding her own fate. I should confront them, she fumed silently. But not without hearing more of what it is they are keeping from me....and why. "What you are asking of her - and of yourself - ", Antea continued, "is that you give up everything. Have you thought of that? Her family, your family, all your friends. They are all part of that past you want to leave behind. And what if she should get her memory back? That could still happen, you know."

"I'm going to take her to Crete. She's never been there that I know of, so no one will recognize her." Xena could hear the anguish in Gabrielle's voice. It was almost as if she were pleading for Antea to believe that what she was saying was possible. Or maybe it was herself she was trying to convince. Gabrielle went on, "Antea, I know it's a risk. Do you think I haven't had those same thoughts every night since I made the decision to do this? It kills me to know I have to lose my family, and I feel guilty every time I think about cutting her off from hers. But I have to! I can't stand the thought that another hot headed warlord wanting to make a name for himself by killing Xena......."

The words continued, but Xena did not hear them. She felt as if she had been struck by lightning, creating a funnel into her soul though which a myriad of memories poured. She clutched her ears as if to shut out the steady stream of bloodshed, violence and hatred that flashed through her mind. Faces; people, alive and dead, marched in front of her as if in a parade. She watched them die, and she didn't care. A village was burning. Children ran screaming, looking for fathers that would never tuck them in bed again. And she hardened her heart. The fortunes of war.

She saw her own army allied against her with Darfus as their leader. Stripped of her armor, she was beaten by her own men; stumbling, broken, barely alive. She remembered falling to the ground....and then nothing. She searched her mind for something that would connect that time with this, and there was a void. Had they stabbed her and left her to die, only for Gabrielle and Antea to find her and save her?

Antea.........she remembered her now. In a time before she was a warlord, this beautiful woman had taken her in, taught her the skills she needed to survive against the warlord that threatened her own village. Would she have done that, Xena mused, if she had known that she was giving her the tools to mold herself into a killing machine? That she would one day rival the most ruthless of warlords?

She tried to picture Gabrielle in her life, and could not. Her first remembrance of Gabrielle was waking to see her by the bed. Those brief flashes of herself making love with Gabrielle must have been a dream, not the memories she had hoped they were. This woman was nothing to her; yet she presumed to make decisions that would forever alter the course of her life. How dare she? The warlord, who had fallen to her knees as if beaten down by the memories of the life she had led, now stood up tall. With a purpose to her step, she strode to the door of the cottage and kicked it open.

Gabrielle and Antea both whirled to see an apparition more frightening than Medusa storm through the door. It took a moment to register that it was Xena, and that she was covered in mud from head to foot, her hair standing out in spikes. Only the eyes, blazing as blue as the hot summer sun were recognizable.

"Jacinthe", Gabrielle began, and Xena looked at her with disgust in her eyes, freezing the rest of her words in her throat.

"Save it", Xena snarled. "I know who I am." In three steps she crossed the room, stopping in front of Gabrielle. The fingers on her hands twitched as if she was barely able to restrain herself from striking the younger woman. "I should kill you for trying to rob me of my identity." Clutching the bodice of Gabrielle's top, Xena pulled the bard up until her face was only inches from her own. She could see fear in the green eyes that looked back at her. It was a look she was familiar with, having seen it in the eyes of so many of her victims.

"Xena! Stop it!" Antea implored her, grasping at Xena's arms to try to pull her away from Gabrielle. With barely a glance at her, Xena forced Antea's hand back until the wrist threatened to break, causing Antea to sink toward her knees. Xena let go of Antea's hand, and raising her foot, she put it against her shoulder and gave her a push. Antea sat down hard on the floor.

"I'll get to you in a minute." Her tone was menacing enough that Antea thought better of trying again to get her to release Gabrielle. She lowered her eyes, but beneath the lids, she was watching for an opportunity to intervene. Satisfied that Antea would not get in her way, Xena turned back to the bard, who appeared more frightened now than she had a moment before. The corner of Xena's mouth turned up in an evil grin, and she raised her eyebrow. "What made you think you had the right to keep my past from me?", she roared. Tears had pooled in the corners of Gabrielle's eyes, and began to spill down her cheeks. She opened her mouth to speak, but words failed her for one of the few times in her life. "Well?!, Xena snapped. Releasing her grip on the bard, she pushed her backward; when her knees encountered the back of the chair she had been sitting in while talking to Antea, she dropped into it again. She never took her eyes off the face of the warrior. "Nothing to say for yourself?, Xena spat contemptuously. "A bard without words is like...a warrior without a sword. You disgust me." She turned away.

Swallowing repeatedly to keep from crying, Gabrielle finally found her voice.

"I....only w-wanted to ke-keep you safe." Gabrielle burst into sobs, and laying her arms on the table, she buried her face in her hands as she surrendered herself to her sorrow.

Xena reached down to where Antea still sat on the floor, and pulled her to her feet. "Shut her up", she ordered. "I'm going to go get this filth off of my body, and when I come back, she had better be composed. Or gone. Makes no difference to me." Jabbing her finger into Antea's chest, she snarled, "And then you and I need to have a long talk."

Turning on her heel, she stalked from the cottage.

Antea hurried to Gabrielle, and put her arms around her shoulders. The bard turned to her, and buried her face in her chest. Antea stroked her hair and whispered soothing noises. She was in shock herself, unable to believe that Xena had behaved as she had toward Gabrielle and herself. And she knew that Gabrielle had to be devastated. Antea was not surprised that Xena was upset over the deception, but she could not understand the unreasonable anger at the bard. Surely she must know that Gabrielle only did what she did because she loved her. Then like lightning it hit her; Xena must not have recovered all of her memory. She must not realize yet what Gabrielle meant to her. Antea gently lifted Gabrielle's face and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

Putting on as much of a smile as she could muster, she said softly, "Gabrielle, pull yourself together. I think we have to assume she meant what she said." Gabrielle nodded. She had reached the same conclusion herself. "I think maybe I know what the problem is", Antea continued. "It seems like she only recovered part of her memory. I don't think she knows what you two meant to each other yet."

"You're probably right", Gabrielle croaked. Her throat was raw from crying and she could scarcely talk. "Antea, it wasn't just that she didn't remember me. I might understand her being upset, or even angry. But she was vicious and cruel. I have never seen her like that, even at her worst. It's almost like she's a different person."

"In a way she is a different person. If she doesn't remember you, it stands to reason she thinks she's still a warlord. But if she got back part of her memory, she could get the rest. We just have to be patient with her, try to find out how much she does remember, and help to fill in the blanks."

"What if... she never remembers?"

"I don't know", Antea said with a sigh. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xena slid the britches down her legs and kicked them off. She would burn them as soon as she found her own clothes. Grasping the tunic she pulled it over her head, tossing both garments in the kettle of water she was warming over the fire. She poked them under with a stick until they were thoroughly wet. That done, she walked to the edge of the stream and lowered herself into the cool water. Mud sluiced off of her body in brown rivulets. She could only imagine what a nightmarish appearance she made when she burst into the cottage. Thinking of how the bard had deceived her, she could feel the anger rise again. Antea would have to be punished for her part in the deception, but in her heart, she knew it was Gabrielle who formulated the plan. And it was Gabrielle who would soon know the wrath of the warrior princess.

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"Here she comes", Antea warned from her vantage point by the front window. Wearing nothing but a shift that she must have found in the stable where Antea had been sleeping, Xena stopped in the yard to spread her wet clothes out over some bushes, and was now heading for the cottage. She did not look any more pleasant than she had when she stormed out of the house earlier; if anything, she looked even angrier. "Are you up to this?", Antea's tone was compassionate. As much as she loved Xena, she would have taken great satisfaction in punishing her for the anguish Gabrielle was going through. If Xena were rational at all, she would have realized that Gabrielle's actions were prompted solely out of concern for her well being, and let the subject drop. But the woman who walked up the path to the cottage was not rational, and Antea feared they were both in for another unpleasant time with the warrior.

"I'm as ready as I'm going to get, I think. I'll fix her a plate of food; that usually improves her mood considerably." While Xena was bathing, the two women had cooked up a slab of bacon and prepared some pan bread. Gabrielle had scrambling eggs with herbs chopped up in them, which was one of Xena's favorites. She arranged the food on a plate and set it on the table just as Xena came through the door.

"Where are my clothes?," Xena snarled to no one in particular, but Gabrielle had the distinct impression that the venom in her voice was aimed at her. It gave her a chill.

"They were ruined...." Gabrielle started. Antea cut her off.

"I'll get them. They're in my workroom." At the confused look on Gabrielle's face, she said to the bard, "I couldn't throw them away. I cleaned them up as best I could, and put on some new leather. I knew she might regain her memory, and I figured she'd want them." Turning to Xena, she continued. "It'll take me a few minutes. Why don't you have some breakfast?" She walked out the door, closing it quietly behind her.

Xena nodded her assent, and took a seat at the table. Gabrielle pushed the already full plate in front of her, and without a word, Xena began to eat.

Gabrielle took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders. She had to somehow convince Xena that her motives were well intentioned, despite the fact that the warrior seemed determined to shut her out. "Xena," she said softly. The older woman gave no sign that she heard, and continued to eat in silence. "Please," Gabrielle implored somewhat louder, "I don't know what you think about why I wanted to keep your identity a secret, but I want you to know that I did it to protect you. Thanos sent an assassin to kill you, and the man used me to....."

Xena pushed herself back from the table, and rose from her chair so fast that she sent it crashing across the room. She whirled to look into the face of the bard, who had stopped mid sentence when the warrior began to rise. Once again, Gabrielle stared into eyes that flashed blue fire, and instinctively, she backed up. The warrior continued to advance on her until Gabrielle's back was against the wall. "Who put you up to this?' Xena seethed. "Thanos is my ally. What reason would he have to send an assassin out to get me? And what sort of spell did you use to get Antea to go along with you in your little deception?"

"Spell?" Gabrielle's voice quavered. She cleared her throat and went on. "I didn't....Antea didn't think it was a good idea, but.....I ...." She realized that her explanation was doing nothing to further her case, and she stopped. Trying a different tack, she started again. "Antea said she didn't know what caused you to lose your memory, so she had no idea if you would get it back. I thought if we created a new life for you, one without warlords and violence.."

"Enough!" The warrior bellowed. "Are you completely incapable of giving a straight answer to a simple question? If you planned to fabricate a story about a warlord wanting to kill me, you should have thought of someone besides Thanos. We're ...friends.". Gabrielle knew that Thanos was once a trusted lieutenant and sometimes lover of the Warrior princess. She felt a sense of revulsion at the thought of her lover in the arms of the murderous warlord. With a sigh, she realized she would have to amend her thinking. This Xena was not her lover. Never had been. And by the way things were going, never would be. Xena's voice brought her mind back to the situation at hand. "I feel I owe you a debt because you did help Antea to save me, and for that am grateful. But I don't trust you. I have no use for people I can't trust. They tend to get a person killed. I suggest that you say your good byes to Antea and be on your way. "And Gabrielle," she fairly spat out the name, "this evens my debt. You would do well to stay out of my way in the future. Understood?"

Gabrielle felt as if an iron band had been wrapped around her heart, and with each word that fell from the warrior's mouth, the band got tighter until she thought it must break completely in two. Numbly she nodded, feeling tears begin to tumble down her face with the movement.

"I'll....." Words failed her. In shocked silence, she walked to the bedroom where her pallet still lay on the floor, and collected her belongings. As she passed back through the kitchen, she noticed that Xena had resumed her place at the table, and was calmly finishing her breakfast, as if nothing had happened. Gabrielle had to bite the insides of her cheeks to keep from crying out in anguish over having been so completely misunderstood by this woman that she loved with all her being. She quickened her pace for fear she would not be able to control herself, and knowing that even if she threw herself on Xena's mercy, she would only hear more scorn and abuse from the warrior. She hit the door with her shoulder, and virtually fell out of the cottage, nearly colliding with Antea.

"Whoa! Gabrielle, what..." Gabrielle skirted around Antea, and kept going. Grabbing her by the arm as she passed, Antea spun the bard around to look into her grief stricken face. "What happened? Gabrielle, please, tell me what happened!"

"She....." Gabrielle gulped, and her lip trembled. "She told me I had to leave. She says she doesn't trust me."

"That's ridiculous", Antea sputtered. Letting go of Gabrielle's arm, she turned and started toward the cottage. "This is my home. She has no right to say you have to leave. I'm going to talk to her."

"Don't!" Gabrielle put herself between Antea and the door. "All you'll do is get her angry at you, too. It's better if I just go. You didn't see the way she looked at me, Antea. If her eyes had been a sword, I'd be dead. I don't know that woman in there. I don't think I want to."

"Gabrielle, our Xena.....", she caught herself and quickly amended, "your Xena is part of her. Underneath the surface of the warlord is the woman who saved my life. And yours."

"More times than I can count." Gabrielle nodded with a sigh. "She would not have given up on me, no matter what. And I won't give up on her. But Antea, what can I do? She'll scarcely look at me, and won't listen to anything I say."

"I don't know yet, Gabrielle. But we'll think of something. Maybe it would help to know what it was that made her quit that part of her life the first time."

"Hm. She doesn't talk much about those times in her life. I know Hercules was involved, and Iolaus. I'll go through my scrolls and see if I can piece together what I know of those days."

"Good idea. Your scrolls are in the saddlebag, aren't they?" Gabrielle nodded. "That's in the stable . Why don't you go have a look while I go talk to her. And Gabrielle," the bard looked up at her expectantly. Antea smiled, and kissed her on her forehead. " Don't give up hope. We'll do what ever we have to do. Because we love her."

Gabrielle smiled. She looked more like her former confident self, and it gave Antea a good feeling. "OK. I'll stay out in the stable until you tell me she's going to be all right with my still being here." With that, Antea continued her course to the cottage and Gabrielle headed for the stable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Took you long enough.", Xena snapped when she saw Antea walk in with her leathers over her arm. "Did you have to skin the sheep?"

Antea would have chuckled to hear those words coming from the mouth of the Xena she knew from before, but she was not sure this Xena meant it as a joke. She handed over the garments without comment. Xena stripped off the shift and dropped it to the floor. The sight of Xena naked always took Antea's breath away, and this was no exception. Even though she had been ministering to her and had seen her naked several times the past week, there was something about the warrior standing tall and proud that stirred her as no one else ever could. The gasp she could not quite suppress was not lost on the warrior.

"Do you like what you see?", she asked seductively.

"I....We have to talk", she stammered.

Xena raised her eyebrow suggestively, and the corner of her mouth turned up in a smile. "There's plenty of time for talking. Later." She dropped her leathers on the floor and took a few steps toward Antea. Her eyes locked onto Antea's, and Antea stood for several moments transfixed, unable to look away, unable to move. Xena was almost within reach when Antea was able to tear her eyes away, and she took a step backwards.

"No. Now. It's important. It's about Gabrielle...."

Xena shrugged, and narrowed her eyes with distaste. "There's nothing to talk about. I sent her on her way."

"And I stopped her." The warriors eyes glittered with anger, but she controlled herself. This was Antea, and she would allow her to have her say. And then she would do whatever pleased her. "Xena, this is my home. I welcomed both of you into it, and Gabrielle is still welcome here, no matter what you say. I know you can hurt me.. Kill me, if you choose to, but I don't think you want to. So you're just going to have to accept that Gabrielle will be staying. Agreed?"

Turning on her heel, Xena strode back to where she had dropped her leathers on the floor and bent down to grab them. For the moment, her desire to please Antea overwhelmed her distaste for the bard, and she would allow her to stay. But if it seemed the annoying brat planned to interfere in her life again, all the bets were off. "You sure know how to kill a mood", she grumbled. She stalked into the bedroom to dress, and Antea breathed a sigh of relief. She did not know how long she could hold out against Xena if she were truly bent on seduction. If the warrior had gotten close enough to touch her........ No, she chastised herself. Don't even think that. Even if Xena did not know she belonged to Gabrielle, Antea certainly did. And she had to be strong. For all of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How's it going? Find anything useful? " The bard was in an empty stall, with scrolls spread out all around her. She nodded enthusiastically.

"Well, the beginning of the end of her career as a warlord seems to have been when her army forced her to run the gauntlet. She was beaten almost to death, and at the end, even though they let her go, she lost control of her army. After that, she fought with Hercules against her own army. As far as I know, she never looked back."

"What could have caused her army to go against her like that?" Gabrielle shrugged.

"I don't have anything written down, but as I remember, it had something to do with a baby. Her second in command ordered the army to kill every living soul in a town Xena had ordered them to attack. When Xena found out that he had killed women and children, she was irate. He thought she was getting soft. And she proved it by saving a baby that had somehow been overlooked during the slaughter."

Antea absorbed the facts and tried to cull out from them the underlying reason for Xena's renouncing her murderous ways. Finally it came to her. "It's her conscience, of course. In her heart, I don't believe she ever wanted to hurt any innocent people. Killing was expected of her as a warlord, and she did it to get the respect of her men. But when she came to me as a young woman and asked me to teach her how to fight, it was only to defend herself and her loved ones from evil people. I think that finally, all of the innocent blood that had been shed in her name was too much for her."

"So", Gabrielle tried to think how they could use Xena's conscience to turn her away from the path she seemed determined to follow. "We have to put her in a position so that she will have to kill an innocent person. Or chose to let them live."

"Yes. That might open her eyes. The hard part will be finding a person willing to risk the warriors wrath... especially if we're wrong."

"No problem. I'll do it."

"Gabrielle, we already know she doesn't lean toward killing women and children. I think we need a man for this job. And it can't be any one she knows."

"If she doesn't remember me, I would imagine that means she doesn't remember the people we both know. Maybe one of them...." Her face brightened and she snapped her fingers. "Autolycus! He's proven himself to be a good friend to us both, and I'm sure he would be willing to help." She smiled remembering when Xena was in Autolycus' body, and had kissed her. How shocked she and Autolycus both were to open their eyes and see each other's faces.

"OK. That's settled. The problem will be finding him."

"Oh, I know who can find him," Gabrielle said confidently. "The queen of the Amazons will send out the whole tribe to find him, if necessary. It means I will have to leave here after all... at least for as long as it takes to get to the Amazon camp and back. That ought to please her", she added with a rueful smile.

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea...", Antea began, picturing once again the image of the beautiful warrior standing before her nude. Just thinking about it was enough to make her wet. She needed Gabrielle there to keep Xena from pursuing her. "I should go," she continued.

"Oh, yeah, that's gonna happen", Gabrielle said sarcastically. "She would just as soon see me dead. If you were not here to prevent that from happening, I might just end up that way. No, thanks. I have to go. But it shouldn't take me more than 4 or 5 days. You can handle her till then, can't you?"

In her mind, Antea screamed NO.. Should she tell Gabrielle that Xena had already tried to seduce her? No. It would only hurt the bard to hear that. And she believed that she could hold her off for the time it would take for Gabrielle to return. "Well.... I hope I can", she answered without a great deal of enthusiasm. "Maybe you could take the horse, and get back here sooner."

"Now you want to kill me too? I like Argo fine, as long as we're both walking on our own legs. I can tolerate her when I have Xena to hold on to, but by myself..," She shook her head emphatically. "Nope, I'd do better on foot." She crossed to where Antea stood, and throwing her arms around her shoulders, she hugged her tightly. "But it's nice to know you want me to get back soon."

You'll never know how much I want you to get back soon, she thought. She returned the hug, and then gave the bard a playful slap on her butt. "You'd better get going pretty soon, then. The sooner you go, the sooner you get back."

Gabrielle began gathering her scrolls, and rolling them carefully, she put them back into the saddlebag. "How about putting together some provisions for me to take along, while I get these scrolls put away?" Antea nodded, and turned to leave the stable. "I'm going to leave these here; too awkward to try to carry all this without Argo. Will you keep an eye on them for me? I would hate for anything to happen to them."

"Sure. Put the saddlebag in the tack chest. It should be safe enough there." Gabrielle nodded, and resumed her work. Antea walked slowly back to the cottage, trying to formulate a story to explain why Gabrielle was leaving, after she had insisted to Xena that she stay. Might as well tell her a half truth, she decided. Not so likely to be caught in a lie.

When she walked into the cottage, she found Xena opening cupboards and banging around. Every chest in sight was standing open, and the contents in complete disarray.

Xena whirled at the sound of her footsteps, but the look of anger on her face faded somewhat when she saw that it was Antea.

"Where are my weapons?"

"They were taken. The man who tried to kill you took them." She decided not to add that he had taken them as a souvenir for Thanos, since Xena did not believe that Thanos had sent an assassin to get her.

With a bellow of rage, Xena swept her arm across the counter top in front of her, sending jars of herbs and dishes crashing to the floor. "I'll kill him", she seethed. "With my bare hands if I have to. What's the cowards name?"

Gabrielle had told Antea the name of the hired killer, but she could not remember it. Better to claim she had never known than to admit she forgot. "I don't know if he said his name, Xena. I wasn't there. Gabrielle was."

"Well. Isn't it handy that the meddlesome little brat is still here? Tell her to come in here. I want to talk to her."

"No," she answered quickly. "I mean, she's gone. She...decided to go spend some time with the Amazons . She should be back in less than a week."

"I can't wait that long", Xena snarled, bringing her fist down on the table with a thump. "That bastard is already more than a week ahead of me; I can't lose any more time. I'm going to go hunt for her."

Antea grasped Xena's arm. Her fingers tingled as she felt the rock hard muscle. God's, give me strength, she prayed. "I'll make you another chakram, and a sword too. There's no reason to go after her. This way when you do catch up with the man who tried to kill you, you'll be armed."

Xena grunted her assent. It made sense. But she was eager to be out and doing. The inactivity of the past week had taken its toll on the warrior.. "How long will it take you to make the weapons?"

"A week, tops. Gabrielle should be back by then."

"All right. You have a week. I'm going to go for a run. Have something ready for me to eat when I get back." Without a backward glance, she stepped through the door, and started off at a trot through the field.

"Yes, Your Majesty", Antea said when the warrior was well out of earshot. What have I let myself in for this time, she mused.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The wind in her face was invigorating. There was just a slight tang of salt from the sea nearby, and she drew it into her lungs in large draughts. Cresting a hill, she paused a moment to look at the peaceful farms laid out below her. She toyed with the idea of terrorizing some of the farmers, just to hone her skills, but decided that was beneath her. Instead, she started running down the hill, building up speed until she thought she was about to fly. How great to be alive! She could tell from the new scars on her body that she had survived a good many more close calls than she could remember. The missing part of her memory must account for several years of time. It frustrated her to not know where she had been and what she had done for all that time. No matter. It would come back to her in time. And if it didn't, she could piece together as much as she could from tales told by the bards. Reluctantly, she had to admit to herself that even though Gabrielle did not bring forth any recollections, she nevertheless did seem to feature in her life for the past few years, at least. Antea would not have allowed herself to be taken in by the bard, so even if Xena did not trust her, she grudgingly conceded that she might still serve a useful purpose, if only to fill in the blanks in her memory.

Gradually she slowed her pace. Clearly she was not up to this kind of all out run so soon after being injured. She walked for a while, looking for a nice shady spot to sit and catch her breath before starting back. Several trees lined the banks of a stream a short distance away, and she struck out for the cool shady trees. She dropped to her knees and cupped some water in her hand, quenching her thirst only after several hands full. Dropping down under a tree, she leaned up against the trunk, and listened to the sound of the stream. Within minutes her eyes started growing heavy, and her chin slowly dropped toward her chest.

......."Xena!" The voice echoed as if from the bottom of a well. She looked around, but there was no one in sight.

"Where are you?" She called in return. Spinning in circles, her ears were alert for the sound of the voice; she knew she could pinpoint the location if she heard it again. As she turned around, she glanced down and saw that she was naked. For some reason, it seemed all right that she had no clothes on, but she felt vulnerable without her weapons. Frantically she looked around, and at last she saw both her clothes and her weapons lying beside her bedroll. Relieved, she continued listening for the voice.

"Call out again so I can find you!"

"Here I am!" Xena turned to where the sound came from, and saw a waterfall spilling into a pool of clear water. Behind the cascading water, she could make out a form that obviously was not part of the natural rock formations. She trotted to the edge of the pool and dove in gracefully, coming up behind the waterfall. Reaching out with one hand, she felt the ledge of rock until her fingers encountered soft skin, and grasped the ankle and pulled. With a shriek, the woman lost her balance, and tumbled into the waterfall. Xena pursued her, and when she caught her, she wrapped her arms around her middle. One hand drifted down the soft smooth skin until it encountered the even softer curls at the apex of the shapely legs. The woman had been struggling in a playful way until Xena began to insinuate her finger inside of her. She ceased her struggle, and leaned her body back against the taller woman, running her hands over Xena's well muscled thighs.

"Oh, Xena, you make me feel so wonderful", she growled into Xena's ear. She ground her buttocks into Xena's mound until the warrior thought she would scream. She removed her hand from the warm folds of her lover, and putting one arm behind her knees and the other behind her shoulders, she lifted her up out of the water and carried her to the bank of the stream. Laying her lover down on the grass, Xena pulled herself out of the water as well, and laid down beside her. She ran her fingers softly over the wet skin, and listened for the sounds of pleasure her lover made. Sighs and moans and shudders accompanied every touch. She pressed her lips against her lovers mouth, and felt the lips part to welcome her exploration. Moving from her mouth, she planted kisses on each eyelid and cheek, then the warm hollow of her neck. Her hand found the luscious breasts, and began to knead first one and then the other. The nipples hardened to little pebbles between her fingers. Putting her mouth where her hand had been, she began to suck the delectable flesh. Running her tongue down the torso, she admired the taut muscles that gathered beneath her touch like a cat waiting to spring. She drank the water that was still pooled in her lovers navel, and then brought her mouth to the smooth skin of her inner thigh.

"Ooohh, yessss." The sibilant sounds of her lover urged her on. She parted the curly hair with her tongue, and then ran her tongue slowly over the outer lips, teasing. "Please....I want to feel you inside me", her lover moaned. Without removing her tongue, Xena insinuated her finger between the slick folds, feeling the muscles of the warm channel grip her tightly. "More.....", her lover begged, and she complied by adding a second finger.

She increased the tempo of both tongue and fingers until the writhing body she lavished her attention on virtually exploded from the force of her orgasm.

Xena clung to her, reluctant to let these marvelous feelings pass into memory. Laying her cheek against the abdomen that was now still, she whispered softly, "My beautiful Gabrielle......"

"NO!" With a shout, Xena sat bolt upright. Her eyes flew open wide, and she had to look around in all directions to be certain she had just been dreaming. The violent motion as she sat up caused a sharp pain in her side, and she sat back against the tree again, trembling from both pain and anger. She had no idea how the bard was able to plant dreams in her mind, but undoubtedly it was the same way she had managed to coerce Antea into going along with her in her scheme to deny Xena her memories. If not for the fact that the meddlesome blonde had somehow wormed her way into Antea's affections, she would send her on her way, despite Antea's protests.

With a groan, she rose slowly to her feet, and turned towards the cottage. The thought of Antea waiting for her gave her a bit of energy, and with a lightness in her step, she headed home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Antea tied a leather thong around the top of a cloth sack filled with fresh fruit from her orchards. She placed the sack on the table beside the other provisions she had been assembling for Gabrielle. Not knowing how long it might be before Xena returned, she had set to work immediately after she left the cottage. She wanted Gabrielle out of sight before the warrior returned and caught her in a lie. Gathering up the sacks, she left the cottage and crossed to the stable. As she walked, she saw again in her mind the look on Xena's face as she dropped her leathers to the floor and walked toward her. She had felt herself drawn to the imposing warrior as a moth is drawn to a candle flame. And like a moth, she had no doubt she would be badly burned if she found herself on the bad side of the warlord. Could she handle Xena while Gabrielle was gone? She liked to think she could, but the truth is, the Xena she was faced with today was a complete unknown. She had no doubts about the Xena she still loved with all her heart, but this woman seemed only to bear a physical resemblance to that Xena. The more she thought, the more she realized that it might be a big mistake to let Gabrielle leave.

"What kept you, Antea?", Gabrielle hissed from the dark recesses of the stable. "I was beginning to think you forgot I was out here", she pouted.

"No.. I'm sorry it took so long. It's just.. Xena wanted to talk, and then I had to go pick some fruit."

Grabbing the bags from her hand, Gabrielle started sniffing each one. "Where's the fruit? Haven't had anything to eat today, and I'm starving."

"It's that one", Antea said pointing to the sack with the leather thong on the top. " Gabrielle", she began, and then stopped to think about how she should word her request. The bard looked up from her exploration of the contents of the sack with a quizzical look on her face. "I..... The more I think about it", Antea continued, "the more I think it might not be such a good idea for you to leave."

"Why not?", Gabrielle mumbled around a mouthful of succulent orange. Her trusting eyes met Antea's, patiently waiting for an explanation. Looking into her guileless face, Antea could not bear the thought of telling a lie to her. It was bad enough that they had both lied to Xena; and been caught at it. She needed Gabrielle as an ally, and that could not be accomplished with deception. Even so, she could not meet those green eyes as she explained.

"She....wanted to seduce me, Gabrielle. I put her off, and I hope I can continue to do that, but..." The stricken look on the bards face cut Antea like a knife. Even so, she could no longer look her in the eye as she continued. "You know how...persuasive she can be. And the side of her we are seeing now.... well, I don't know what to expect from her. She's a warlord now, used to taking what she wants. What if she doesn't take no for an answer?"

Gabrielle swallowed hard a few times, trying to choke down the lump in her throat, but it was useless. The rest of the orange she had been enjoying so much a few moments ago dropped from her fingers without her knowing it, landing in the straw and dust of the stable.

"What if she doesn't? How will my being here make any difference if she wants to.." She couldn't finish her thought. On some level, as soon as she realized that Xena's memory had only come back in part, Gabrielle knew that there was a very real possibility that the woman she loved would not choose to be with her. But she had carefully avoided contemplating what it might mean if the warlord chose Antea, whom she loved from her past. A past that no longer included Gabrielle.

"I don't know, Gabrielle. But I hope that she will be less inclined to....force her attentions on me as long as there are three of us here. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't know what else to do. Gabrielle, I.... you know I love you." Gabrielle nodded mutely. Antea captured her hand, still sticky with the juice from the orange, and held it softly in her own. "And I love Xena." She lowered her eyes, but kept a firm grip on the bards hand. "Gods help me, I love her more than I should." A tear leaked from the corner of her eye, and traced a path down her cheek. She scrubbed it off with her free hand and continued in a soft voice. "I don't know how long I can resist her, Gabrielle. Part of me doesn't want to resist at all, and it kills me. I don't want to hurt you, or let her hurt you. But if you're not here to......"

Gabrielle tugged her hand free of Antea's grasp a little more forcefully than she intended. "I understand", she said in a husky voice. "I should be grateful that you're still willing to try to resist her, knowing how you feel about her. I thought you were over her."

Antea smiled ruefully. "How does one get over Xena? I learned to control my emotions, that's all. And I was doing all right until she let me know she wanted to make love with me. I'm just human, Gabrielle. You know what a powerful attraction she exerts. I don't want to act on it, I meant that. Will you help me?"

"Yes. Of course I will. And I'm sorry for doubting you. I'll stay. We'll come up with a new plan."

"And an explanation of why you're still here; I told her you had left already. And we need to do it soon.. She should be back any time now." Together they went back to the cottage to await the return of the warrior and hatch a new plan.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first thing she saw when she opened the door to the cottage was the bard. Her eyes narrowed to slits, and she hissed "What are you doing here? She told me you were gone."

"I tore the sole off my boot", Gabrielle said quickly, and Antea held up the boot that she and Gabrielle had deliberately damaged in order to explain Gabrielle's return. Antea was in the process of replacing the leather. "I came back to see if Antea could fix it for me, and she told me you wanted to talk to me about the assassin."

"Yes. I need to know everything you can tell me about him. Starting with his name." Xena crossed to the kitchen and dipped herself a generous mug of water from the bucket on the counter. She then sat on a stool opposite Gabrielle at the table to study her face as she talked so she could gauge the sincerity of her words.

"Oh, gods... his name. Something like Zagrias, but not that. Started with a Z. I think." Her expression was one of genuine uncertainty.

"You might remember if I cut off the flow of blood to your brain", Xena snarled, beginning to rise from her stool. Gabrielle's eyes widened in fear, and she pushed herself away from the table, nearly falling in her haste to get out of Xena's reach. Antea dropped the boot she was working on, and put her hand on Xena's shoulder, pushing her back to her seat.

"Xena", she pleaded "there's no need for that. She's trying to remember. Give her time." Xena turned her cold gaze on Antea, and then glanced at her shoulder where Antea's hand still rested. Quickly, Antea withdrew her hand. She mentally chastised herself for forgetting once again that this was not the Xena she knew. "Please", she added.

"Zabadis? Zeradus? Xena, I wasn't close enough to hear very well. It sounded something like that." Gabrielle had regained some of her composure, but her voice still shook as she spoke. She had never would have thought she could fear Xena as much as she did at that moment.

"Could it have been Zarkadis? Birthmark on his face?"

"Yes! That's him, that's the guy!" The relief in her voice was evident. "But you said you didn't know him."

"I don't. But I know of him. Up and coming assassin for hire, and reputed to be very good at what he does. I don't know why I'm alive to talk about it. That kind of mistake is very costly in his line of work."

"He just misjudged the angle of the knife, or the depth of the wound. There was no question, he thought you would be dead shortly after he left."

"Why didn't he kill you, too?"

"He said his contract was to kill you only. He had no quarrel with me, he said." She lowered her eyes, not certain how Xena would take her next comment. "And you made him promise he would leave Argo so I could take your body home for burial."

Once again she sounded sincere, but Xena could not understand why she would have asked this annoying woman to take her body home. She had not thought of home since she regained consciousness, and now that it crossed her mind, it seemed even less likely she would have wanted to be taken there. Her mother made it clear when last she saw her that she wanted nothing more to do with her daughter, and that was fine with Xena. She needed no attachments, no distractions. She glanced out of the corner of her eye at Antea who had resumed working on the boot, and amended her thinking.. Well, maybe a little distraction.